Obsessive Pair Bonding

Another mammalian trait that generally goes unrecognized for what it essentially is, this continual and constant obsessing over pair bonding – desiring it, pursuing it, worrying over it, demanding it, expecting it, fretting about it, gaining and losing it, the subject of half the stories in the world and the content of half the thoughts and feelings of an average person’s existence. Seen from a distance it must appear ridiculous, like a dog perpetually chasing its tail, yet we are driven by it, ridden by it, controlled by it, determined by it – and yet we deny its essence of addiction. When we want to quit smoking, we see it for the dominating habit it truly is, but the pursuit of pair bonding is much more deeply staked and infinitely harder to shake. Sometimes you see so-called ‘open’ relationships and marvel at them (while tut-tutting all the while). It seems so foreign, so unnatural, so un-mammalian, but these are simultaneous rather than serial monogamies, it’s only a degree of mental partitioning, like a multi-threaded program there is only one thread of execution at an instant, in reality – it’s an illusion of concurrency. But anyway … Driven by pair bonding (gender is not an issue, the central problem is the pair in any combination), loving and hating over it, murdering because of it, suffering and soaring. Isn’t it tiresome at times? Can’t live with it, can’t live without it. There are a number of these animal essentials – food, shelter, sleep, sex, activity – that push us around, kick us in the ass, relentless, unyielding, terminable only by death. You can run and you can hide, but they will find you out. The pair bonding thing, though, there’s somebody for everybody. Has to be. It’s the law.


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