Elysial Thoughts

Just having seen Elysium, a few remarks. First, about halfway through it stops making sense, and I found myself thinking “well, lately my books have been getting a lot of one-star ratings for that very reason, because they don’t “make sense” and people have a thing about that, so I won’t complain about this movie not making sense” … but still … I had some basic problems with the movie.

Mainly, the female lead (not Jodie Foster, she was fine, except she kept forgetting which accent she was pretending to have), but the childhood-buddy-love-interest played by Alice Braga (niece of Sonia Braga, of Dona Flor fame). This character mainly existed to be either “loved” or “repeatedly threatened with rape by the bad guys”. I hate that. Bullshit. And the threat of rape as a ticket to Paradise is a new one to me.

There was also this paradise with beautiful lawns and fabulous clean houses but no gardeners, cooks or janitors. No laborers at all. These would obviously be “bused” in from Earth on a regular basis, but they didn’t bother to develop that side of the story. It could have easily been done.

But the filmmaker seemed to lose his focus,especially halfway through when he realized he had no good way for the three people who needed to be on Elysium to get there, so there was this whole bizarre thing with the local contract-killer-would-be-rapist-super-Aussie-villain that was just a hack,

Oh, and the computer programming stuff – what was this, War Games? The genius billionaire is programming the entire space station in x86 Assembly Language, and all they have to do is “reboot” and then change one parameter (“Eath Citizenship: Illegal to Earth Citizenship: Legal)? Really?

That’s why I rated the movie 3 stars and 29 Really?s

I did like the crappy LA of the future although at first it did seem that the reason everything was so dirty and fucked up was because LA was more Hispanic and evenwhite kids like Matt Damon had to speak Spanish. But they compensated for that later by making all his hero sidekicks Hispanic (plus one random Black guy), and the bad guys Caucasian.

Also, it amused me that the end game (where Jesus, er Matt Damon, dies for the good of all mankind) consists of Universal Single Payer health care. Yay!

And sure, when holding hostages, be sure to put them in the ARMORY. I always do.

Oh, and my favorite plot hole: the bad guy gets his face blown off at one point, so they stick him in the miracle tanning bed and he gets his face back- WITH HIS FULL BEARD IN THE EXACT SAME STATE IT WAS BEFORE! Was there like a System Restore Point for his facial hair? Really?


3 thoughts on “Elysial Thoughts

  1. My biggest bugbear was how the information was so super secret encrypted in the guy’s mind that they had to download it by wire, but somehow the bad guys knew exactly what the information was without even doing some sort of brain scan thing? (Or if they did I totally missed it. Probably because the camera was shaking too much.)


    • I know, right? It’s like they punted on the whole computer thing. There must have been some reason why Spider didn’t just finish downloading it (and killing Max in the process) because, as they used to say on Arrested Development, “that way he’d have it.”


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