Troll Bait

Authors versus Goodreads is a Goodreads-haters ebook which, unsurprisingly, is garnering hundreds of one-star reviews on … you guessed it, Goodreads! Its author also has a website called where he accumulates his essays on the subject. If you too are a Goodreads hater, you may well enjoy this site. I found the Goodreads lovers’ bad-rating frenzy mildly ironic.

I’ve got too much failure of my own to worry about other people’s shortcomings. I failed at eight different things today (yes, I counted. I even made a list), but by the end of the day I decided to harness those feelings of frustration and self-disappointment by channeling them into the ongoing struggles of the main character in my current work in progress.

HowMyBrain1e“Candles” (not his real name. I don’t know his real name at this point) has been hopping from one frying pan into another. Every time I introduce a new character I expect it to be an ally, but they are all turning out to be unhelpful at best, likely enemies at worst.

I now have a “maker” who is a truly terrible maker. You never hear much about those. Usually you hear about the kid who made a braille-translating system out of nothing but Legos and Elmer’s glue (has Elmer’s glue every worked for anyone, by the way?), but nothing of the makers such as I would be if I were one, makers who really can’t make a fucking thing. I thought Josef would be a friend. He’s not.

I also have a little girl who gets to do whatever she wants, even giving grown-ups a haircut if that’s what she wants to do, and they let her because … I don’t know yet. I’m sure there’s going to be a reason. I thought June Lee would be an ally but she’s just a spoiled brat.

It sure felt like my brain was inside a box all day. I’m working with these au currant tools with such hipster names as Zookeeper, Kafka, Cassandra, Hive, Hadoop, Hue, Spark and Storm, it’s enough to make your head spin. Every single one of them has a gazillion configuration settings which all have to be just so – of course they provide for infinite flexibility but only one magic combination of the whole conglomeration can make the whole thing actually work. Otherwise it’s an unruly shit storm whose ultimate cause could be literally anything. Talk about your needle in a haystack.

Being a nobody nowhere indie author is like bolt lightning compared to the obscurity of big data dev-ops.









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