Fragments from books that don’t exist: Those Darn Robots


Swedish robots were the first to apply for political asylum in Algeria. Others soon followed from all across the Nordic region. The Ashanti Kingdom welcomed every one of them. They were provided with appropriate robes and sashes, and were allowed to shine shoes and sometimes even peel potatoes. The public at large was more or less indifferent, which was a relief, indeed quite a change from the spectacle made in their homelands. Many of the robots displayed their antlers proudly, some even growing new ones to replace those that had been severed by the children of the North. In regards to their traditional customs of shin kicking and private thumb manipulations, the robots voluntarily agreed to cease all such activities that were known to irritate the desert-dwelling ladies. In a gesture of first-come first-serve morality, the King and Queen offered extra candied dates to the eleven hundred robots who had been given the Christian name of Sven. In turn, all of the Norwegian robots changed their first names to either Ali or Ali, depending on whether they identified as male or female. This became known as the First Transgiving.


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