Fragments from books that don’t exist: Interview with the Beirdo


“There was literally no way out,” Helena said.

“Literally, or figuratively?” asked Miriam, “Literally would imply”

“I know what literally means,” Helena frowned, “and I’m using it correctly if you don’t mind. I was trapped.”

“You could have left,” Miriam interrupted, “just got up and walked out.”

“That would have been rude,” Helena countered, and tried to continue but Miriam wouldn’t let her.

“So you weren’t trapped,” she said, “not literally, at least.”

“He had a really stupid beard,” Helena nearly shouted. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Mind your unconscious bias?” Miriam suggested.

“You and your fucking bias,” Helena muttered. “I’m fucking minding it right now. I mind it all right. I mind it a lot.”

“Literally?” Miriam smirked, “or figuratively?”


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