Fragments from books that don’t exist: Seriously? and Other Stupid Questions

seriouslyHoonang Tea is made from the most deciduous leaves, and sparks an aroma more dazzling than the fabled Southern Lights. We offer this most delicate of delicacies with a freshness reserved for the finest palettes this side of Louisiana. On the other side you may consider wandering about without instructions. This will lead you nowhere, precisely the goal of the most unmindful. In other times, one may have considered possessing regrets, but not anymore. The frisbees of resentment have been flung, may they land where they will. Release yourself from the cares and worries of the here and now, and relax with a famous and tasteful cup of Hoonang Tea today.

Warning. Hoonang Tea may cause unspecified liver damage, loss of hormones, lack of appetite, increased attention span, really bad dreams and loss of pigmentation. In rare cases, connoisseurs of this finest of treats from the fabled Orient have been known to speak in tongues, fall out of windows, and perform dastardly deeds. Caution is recommended when approaching a bearer of Hoonang Tea. Some were spies in the colonies.

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