“So my girlfriend lives in California,” said the short fat bald guy sitting next to me on the airplane. We were on our way to San Francisco, out of Toronto by way of Chicago.
“I’ve never been to California,” he said. I was about to ask him where he met his girlfriend when he told me.
“She used to live in Hawaii,” he said. “Once a month I drive to West Virginia to visit my mother. She’s ninety seven years old.”
I started to mention that I’ve never been to West Virginia, but he wasn’t done yet.
“My girlfriend hates my mother,” he decided to tell me. I was going to ask him why but he went ahead and said,
“They’ve never met. It’s more of a feel thing.”
I thought about what I could contribute to this conversation. I didn’t have much.
“Did you know that turmeric cures cancer?” I asked him.
“That’s fucking bullshit,” he said. “Turmeric can’t do shit.”