I was shopping for Halloween presents when I realized, and maybe that’s exactly when it really hit me for the first time, that I had about three months to live and what the fuck did I think I was doing shopping for Halloween presents! I didn’t even like Halloween. In fact, I never liked Halloween. When I was a kid my costumes always sucked and I felt like a total idiot going out there like that and begging for candy from strangers. This is no way to live, my five-year old self told itself. What I really wanted was steak and eggs. Try telling that to your mother.