Fragments from books that don’t exist: Cheese Cop


In later years I investigated crimes that were not committed, and not just those against cheese, but all sorts of pairings and varietals as well. One case you may have heard of involved some rather attractive dumplings and a stew that should remain un-named. Incidents like these took me on the road a lot, and I toured a number of exotic locales without formal addresses or even legitimate street signs. Those were the early days of the hashtag resistance, before the calendars went all emoji and such. You couldn’t slide down a tube without a general freakout about one biodegradable cause or another. Non-committal was all the rage back then. You only had to think about a thing and there it was, projected three dimensional from the back burners of your brain. Didn’t make it any less illegal. Food for thought – heh, the Boys in Bleu used to use that joke a lot.

I guess you’d say the Delaware Dairy Guys was my most famous apprehension. Man, I could tell you stories about that lot.


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