A Tumor in D Flat Minor (Fragments From Books That Don’ Exist #105)

A Tumor in Db Minor

Caroline Le Beau stood behind the backstage curtain while the band began to play the warm-up music. The first song was from her new album, ‘Leafblower Tuesdays’, a tune called ‘Where Is That Thing?’. After thirty seconds or so she was supposed to walk on, guitar strapped around her neck, and stride up to the microphone in the center of the stage. There she would wait for the applause to die down as the band went through a few more bars, and then she’d lean into the mic and get going with the verses. At ten seconds in she knew she couldn’t do it. She fucking hated that song. She hated all the songs on the new album. She didn’t event want to do a new album. She hadn’t even wanted to do the first one. All she ever wanted to do was that one song, the song that made her famous, the song that rocketed up the charts and stayed at number one for sixteen weeks. It was the only song she liked, the only one she ever wanted to sing. At twenty seconds she said fuck it and turned to leave. Buddy, the pit bull who was her manager and the massive force running her entire life, was right there as always, blocking the way. By now all he had to do was pretend to go for the knife.

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